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00:25
Jericho - Break The Walls Down

I Think That I’ve Become A Guarded Person For Really Selfish Reasons, And Now It’s Not Just A Simple Task Of Flipping A Switch And Allowing People In.

Wherever “In” Is. If “In” Even Exists

I Feel Like People Have To Earn What’s Behind Whatever Internet Presence/Extroverted Persona I Portray, But I Also Know I’ve Lost Some Really Good People To My Tendency To Be Stubborn.

But Alas…

I Wanna Say That I Used To Be Guarded For The Natural Defense Mechanisms One Would Tend Towards When They Feel The Need To Protect Themselves.

Now I Feel I’ve Dug Myself In So Deep, I’m Almost Just Guarding Myself For Sport Now, Though I Can’t Think Of What I Get If I “Win” When All I’m Doing Is Losing Small Bits Of Sanity Along The Way.

Earnestness, Honesty, And Full Disclosure Have Never Been My Most Glowing Attributes, And I Won’t Portend To This Bit Of Writing Being A Precursor For Some Kind Of Change But Hey, At Least I’m Aware Of It.

Totally Past The Denial Stage.

20:21

I Battle Against Perceived Certainty Daily.

More Like Societal Certainty.

I’ve Always Played Well Against What And Where People Said I Should Be As If Their Barometer On How I’m To Live My Life Is A Measuring Stick I’m Supposed To Willfully Fathom, Let Alone Entertain.

Disproving Notions Is A Personal Pastime Of Mine And This Idea That I’m Supposed To Live By A Certain Amount Of Already Imbalanced Rules When I Clearly See Other People Not Living By Them, Is Ludicrous.

I’m A Rebel Only Because My Experiences Made Me This Way.

They Don’t Want Riots On The Assembly Line.


I Could Have Been A Completely Upstanding Member Of Society…

If They Played By The Rules.

05:24

Trust. Respect. Honesty. Loyalty. Appreciation.

These Are All Important Cogs That Make Up The Foundation For Love, Or At Least What We Expect It To Be.

A Feeling We Chase Daily, And At Its Apex, An Experience So Special, It Is Both Incredibly Fake And Totally Real.

It’s An Esoteric Happening That Also Happens To Be A Very Grounded Emotion. This Idea Of Love That Most All Of Us Strive For Only Exists When Each Piece Of The Foundation Is Intact.

What Most People Think Love To Be, Is Usually Just A Series Of Fleeting Moments Quilted Together To Mask The Fact That The Foundation Is Indeed Broken.

Those Fleeting Moments Can Confuse Us, Confound Us, Undermine Our Right Mind, And Trick Us Into Doing Things More Quickly Than We Normally Would Have Under Less Emotionally Vulnerable Circumstances.

Falling Too Quickly In Love Can Result In Realizing Too Late That You’ve Made A Mistake, And That’s Probably The Worst Kind Of Position To Be In Because You’ve Settled.

Settled Into A Relationship With No Real Support, Trapped Right Back At The Beginning: Chasing An Idea.

Please Don’t Listen To Me Though, I’ve Never Been In Love.

I’m Just A Nigga On The Sidelines.

23:39

I Usually Battle Back And Forth With How Much Of Myself I Give To The Internet And What The Projection Of Me Must Be Like To People On The Other Side Of The Screen.

There Are Pockets Of Revitalization In Sharing Your Life In Stages On A Daily Basis Through Writing.

I Think I Like The Idea Of Sharing Myself With The World This Way.

I Certainly Like The Idea Much More Than I Like The Actuality Of It, Which Is How A Good Majority Of Us Are Wired About A Good Majority Of Things We See On The Greener Side Of The Grass.

I’d Like To Believe That I Could Write The Goings On In My Life In A Public Forum And Have The Energy Of Strangers And Non-Strangers Serve As Some Sort Of Therapy For Me.

But My Wandering Eye Won’t Let Me Share It With World Wide Web, If I Haven’t Yet Shared It With The Old World: Outside Where Existence Is Still Tangible In Ways That Aren’t Illuminated By A Backlight.

I Admire The Various People I Follow That Share Their Hearty Stories Of Daily Life And The Release They Get From Intimate E-xpression, Almost To The Point Of Envy.

Then I Reel Myself Back In.

The More I Think About Writing About Myself In A Way That Gives Myself Up To This Cyber Energy (Energy I Certainly Don’t Take For Granted) The More I Sense Myself Losing What I Could Potentially Give To Someone Or Something Or Some Place Away From The Consumption Of Avatars Who May Or May Not Be Listening.

Plus, My Vanity Tends To Show Up In Different Ways That Have Little To Do With Writing.

I’m Forever Fascinated With The Idea Of Giving Yourself To The Experience And The Preserving Those Memories Until The Right Anything Comes Along That Presents Itself As Worthy Of Breaking The Seal.

That’s Not To Say That I Don’t Put It On The Page At All..I Just Feel That Less (In Public) Is More.

Maybe I Just Like The Fantasy Of Someone Finding All These Thoughts, Stories And Anecdotes When I’m Dead And Making Good Use Of Them. Or At Least Better Use Than I Could Have..



Yet Here I Am Writing About How I Shouldn’t Be Writing About Myself.

I’m Probably Just A Hypocrite.

01:38

I Created The Sloppy Heart Club (Mostly In My Brain) Based On The Leftovers That Love Tends To Leave. I’ve Seen A Lot Of Good People Get Looked Over Because They Lacked A Superficial Quality That Someone Else May Have Wanted In Them.


I’ve Seen A Lot Of Nice Guys & Girls Finish Behind The 8 Ball Because It Was A Popular Choice To Go Out With Someone Who Filled A Void Of Lust So Fast That It Blinded Them Into Thinking It Was Something Substantial.

I Created The Sloppy Heart Club (Mostly In My Brain) For Those Same People Who’ve Experienced The Inevitable Heartbreak That They Just Had To Know Was Coming When They Got Into A Relationship Of That Magnitude. No Matter If The Relationship Was Real Or Just A Product Of Hard Crushin’.

Mainly Though, I Created The Sloppy Heart Club (Mostly In My Brain) For People Who Would Rather Settle For What Feels Right, Rather Than What Feels Right Now. Some People Call It Being Picky. I Call It Being Carefully Selective. This Method Doesn’t Necessarily Lend Itself To Sid & Nancy-Type Unions Where A Love Trail Can Be Traced With Cocaine, But It Does Lend Itself To Surprises You Wouldn’t Have Otherwise Known Existed.

So, This Is My Open Call For Anyone Who’s Ever Been Looked Over By Love, Or Even Felt Betrayed By It’s Power. For Those Who Have Put Your All Into Something That May Have Only Given You A Fourth. For The Many Millions Who Hold Out Hope That Hope Didn’t Skip Their Turn. For Those That Got Mad Love To Give. This Is For You.

This Club By No Means, Carries A “Fuck Love” Sentiment, (But What The Hell, If You Feel That Way, You’re Invited Too) It’s More Of A Holding Place For People Without It, Until It Finds You When It’s Supposed To.

There’s Only So Long You Can Go On Frontin’ On Yourself Sayin’ “Well At Least I Don’t Have To Buy Someone A Gift For Valentine’s Day” Because Eventually (And Probably Already), You’ll Be Yearning For Someone To Buy Something For.

Darth Dream’s Favorite 9+1 Albums Of 2012 
  - Lianne La Havas - Is Your Love Big Enough?
Favorite Song:  “Au Cinéma” (Listen Here)
   - Michael Jackson - Bad 25
Favorite Song:  “Price Of Fame” (Listen Here)
   - Yuna - Yuna
Favorite Song:  “Live Your Life” (Listen Here)
   - Sleigh Bells - Reign Of Terror
Favorite Song:  “Comeback Kid” (Listen Here)
   - Nas - Life Is Good
Favorite Song:  “The Black Bond” (Listen Here)
   - Purity Ring - Shrines
Favorite Song:  “Lofticries” (Listen Here)
   - Santigold - Master Of My Make-Believe
Favorite Song:  “Disparate Youth” (Listen Here)
   - Frank Ocean - Channel Orange
Favorite Song: “Sweet Life” (Listen Here)
   - Kendrick Lamar - good kid m.A.A.d city
Favorite Song: “Bitch, Don’t Kill My Vibe” (Listen Here)
   - +1 “Album” Of 2012 - Darth Dream - MDMA
For The Sake Of Self-Promotion (And The Fact That I Genuinely Don’t Have A 10th Favorite Album For This Year) I’m Gonna Take The Liberty To Put My Own Project On The List: Download My Project Entitled “MDMA” Here.
13:23
Leaving A Trail..

I Love Veiling The Coaster Of My State.

I Weave Through Quintuple Entendres Just To Stay A Few Steps Ahead Of Your Concern.

But If You Catch Me, I Will Have Known It Was Worth It.

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